Lifespan Specialist

Life Span

2008-05-15T15:29:00.000-07:00

Exciting Relationship

2008-05-10T11:59:00.000-07:00

Relationship

2008-05-10T11:28:00.000-07:00

Interdependent Relationships

2008-05-10T08:38:00.000-07:00

Our Success in this modern world is not independent, but it is interdependent on other people's co-operation and support. In our childhood we are dependent , then as we grow we become independent, as we grow further to reach greater heights in life we become interdependent.

One of the most distinctive characteristics which differentiates human beings from animals is "Relationships." Animals have no problems with relationships, they don't even need counseling, however as we are becoming more advanced, more do we face the challenges of relationships.

Balanced & healthy life

2008-05-10T07:41:00.000-07:00

"The sound body is the product of the sound mind."
-- George Bernard Shaw

"It's the mind that makes the body rich."
-- Shakespeare

Health & Fitness

2008-05-10T07:28:00.000-07:00

Healthy Body & Mind

2008-05-10T07:25:00.000-07:00

Working hard OR Hardly working ?

2008-05-10T04:51:00.000-07:00

Do You have Life Purpose??

2008-05-10T04:35:00.000-07:00

Dubai, United Arab Emirates

2008-05-10T04:30:00.000-07:00

Get Your Own Online Store

2008-05-03T05:12:00.000-07:00

39 WAYS TO LIVE, AND NOT MERELY EXIST

2007-06-22T11:18:00.000-07:00

"The proper function of man is to live - not to exist." -- Jack London

Too often we go through life on autopilot, going through the motions and having each day pass like the one before it.

That's fine, and comfortable, until you have gone through another year without having done anything, without having really lived life.

That's fine, until you have reached old age and look back on life with regrets.

That's fine, until you see your kids go off to college and realize that you missed their childhoods.

It's not fine. If you want to truly live life, to really experience it, to enjoy it to the fullest, instead of barely scraping by and only living a life of existence, then you need to find ways to break free from the mold and drink from life.

What follows is just a list of ideas, obvious ones mostly that you could have thought of yourself, but that I hope are useful reminders. We all need reminders sometimes. If you find this useful, print it out, and start using it. Today.
1. Love. Perhaps the most important. Fall in love, if you aren't already. If you have, fall in love with your partner all over again. Abandon caution and let your heart be broken. Or love family members, friends, anyone -- it doesn't have to be romantic love. Love all of humanity, one person at a time.
2. Get outside. Don't let yourself be shut indoors. Go out when it's raining. Walk on the beach. Hike through the woods. Swim in a freezing lake. Bask in the sun. Play sports, or walk barefoot through grass. Pay close attention to nature.
3. Savor food. Don't just eat your food, but really enjoy it. Feel the texture, the bursts of flavors. Savor every bite. If you limit your intake of sweets, it will make the small treats you give yourself (berries or dark chocolate are my favorites) even more enjoyable. And when you do have them, really, really savor them. Slowly.
4. Create a morning ritual. Wake early and greet the day. Watch the sun rise. Out loud, tell yourself that you will not waste this day, which is a gift. You will be compassionate to your fellow human beings, and live every moment to its fullest. Stretch or meditate or exercise as part of your ritual. Enjoy some coffee.
5. Take chances. We often live our lives too cautiously, worried about what might go wrong. Be bold, risk it all. Quit your job and go to business for yourself (plan it out first!), or go up to that girl you've liked for a long time and ask her out. What do you have to lose?
6. Follow excitement. Try to find the things in life that excite you, and then go after them. Make life one exciting adventure after another (with perhaps some quiet times in between).
7. Find your passion. Similar to the above tip, this one asks you to find your calling. Make your living by doing the thing you love to do. First, think about what you really love to do. There may be many things. Find out how you can make a living doing it. It may be difficult, but you only live once.
8. Get out of your cubicle. Do you sit all day in front of computer, shuffling papers and taking phone calls and chatting on the Internet? Don't waste your days like this. Break free from the cubicle environment, and do your work on a laptop, in a coffee shop, or on a boat, or in a log cabin. This may require a change of jobs, or becoming a freelancer. It's worth it.
9. Turn off the TV. How many hours will we waste away in front of the boob tube? How many hours do we have to live? Do the math, then unplug the TV. Only plug it back in when you have a DVD of a movie you love. Otherwise, keep it off and find other stuff to do. Don't know what to do? Read further.
10. Pull away from Internet. You're reading something on the Internet right now. And, with the exception of this article, it is just more wasting away of your precious time. You cannot get these minutes back. Unplug the Internet, then get out of your office or house. Right now! And go and do something.
11. Travel. Sure, you want to travel some day. When you have vacation time, or when you're older. Well, what are you waiting for? Find a way to take a trip, if not this month, then sometime soon. You may need to sell your car or stop your cable bill and stop eating out to do it, but make it happen. You are too young to not see the world. If need be, find a way to make a living by freelancing, then work while you travel. Only work an hour or two a day. Don't check email but once a week. Then use the rest of the time to see the world.
12. Rediscover what's important. Take an hour and make a list of everything that's important to you. Add to it everything that you want to do in life. Now cut that list down to 4-5 things. Just the most important things in your life. This is your core list. This is what matters. Focus your life on these things. Make time for them.
13. Eliminate everything else. What's going on in your life that's not on that short list? All that stuff is wasting your time, pulling your attention from what's important. As much as possible, simplify your life by eliminating the stuff that's not on your short list, or minimizing it.
14. Exercise. Get off the couch and go for a walk. Eventually try running. Or do some push ups and crunches. Or swim or bike or row. Or go for a hike. Whatever you do, get active, and you'll love it. And life will be more alive.
15. Be positive. Learn to recognize the negative thoughts you have. These are the self-doubts, the criticisms of others, the complaints, the reasons you can't do something. Then stop yourself when you have these thoughts, and replace them with positive thoughts. Solutions. You can do this!
16. Open your heart. Is your heart a closed bundle of scar tissue? Learn to open it, have it ready to receive love, to give love unconditionally. If you have a problem with this, talk to someone about it. And practice makes perfect.
17. Kiss in the rain. Seize the moment and be romantic. Raining outside? Grab your lover and give her a passionate kiss. Driving home? Stop the car and pick some wildflowers. Send her a love note. Dress sexy for him.
18. Face your fears. What are you most afraid of? What is holding you back? Whatever it is, recognize it, and face it. Do what you are most afraid of. Afraid of heights? Go to the tallest building, and look down over the edge. Only by facing our fears can we be free of them.
19. When you suffer, suffer. Life isn't all about fun and games. Suffering is an inevitable part of life. We lose our jobs. We lose our lovers. We lose our pets. We get physically injured or sick. A loved one becomes sick. A parent dies. Learn to feel the pain intensely, and really grieve. This is a part of life -- really feel the pain. And when you're done, move on, and find joy.
20. Slow down. Life moves along at such a rapid pace these days. It's not healthy, and it's not conducive to living. Practice doing everything slowly -- everything, from eating to walking to driving to working to reading. Enjoy what you do. Learn to move at a snail's pace.
21. Touch humanity. Get out of your house and manicured neighborhoods, and find those who live in worse conditions. Meet them, talk to them, understand them. Live among them. Be one of them. Give up your materialistic lifestyle.
22. Volunteer. Help at homeless soup kitchens. Learn compassion, and learn to help ease the suffering of others. Help the sick, those with disabilities, those who are dying.
23. Play with children. Children, more than anyone else, know how to live. They experience everything in the moment, fully. When they get hurt, they really cry. When they play, they really have fun. Learn from them, instead of thinking you know so much more than them. Play with them, and learn to be joyful like them.
24. Talk to old people. There is no one wiser, more experienced, more learned, than those who have lived through life. They can tell you amazing stories. Give you advice on making a marriage last or staying out of debt. Tell you about their regrets, so you can learn from them and avoid the same mistakes. They are the wisdom of our society -- take advantage of their existence while they're still around.
25. Learn new skills. Constantly improve yourself instead of standing still -- not because you're so imperfect now, but because it is gratifying and satisfying. You should accept yourself as you are, and learn to love who you are, but still try to improve -- if only because the process of improvement is life itself.
26. Find spirituality. For some, this means finding God or Jesus or Allah or Buddha. For others, this means becoming in tune with the spirits of our ancestors, or with nature. For still others, this just means an inner energy. Whatever spirituality means for you, rediscover it, and its power.
27. Take mini-retirements. Don't leave the joy of retirement until you are too old to enjoy it. Do it now, while you're young. It makes working that much more worth it. Find ways to take a year off every few years. Save up, sell your home, your possessions, and travel. Live simply, but live, without having to work. Enjoy life, then go back to work and save up enough money to do it again in a couple of years.
28. Do nothing. Despite the tip above that we should find excitement, there is value in doing nothing as well. Not doing nothing as in reading, or taking a nap, or watching TV, or meditating. Doing nothing as in sitting there, doing nothing. Just learning to be still, in silence, to hear our inner voice, to be in tune with life. Do this daily if possible.
29. Stop playing video games. They might be fun, but they can take up way too much time. If you spend a lot of time playing online games, or computer solitaire, or Wii or Gameboy or whatever, consider going a week without it. Then find something else to do, outside.
30. Watch sunsets, daily. One of the most beautiful times of day. Make it a daily ritual to find a good spot to watch the sunset, perhaps having a light dinner while you do so.
31. Stop reading magazines. They're basically crap. And they waste your time and money. Cancel your subscriptions and walk past them at the news stands. If you have to read something, read a trashy novel or even better, read Dumb Little Man once a day and be done.
32. Break out from ruts. Do you do things the same way every day? Change it up. Try something new. Take a different route to work. Start your day out differently. Approach work from a new angle. Look at things from new perspectives.
33. Stop watching the news. It's depressing and useless. If you're a news junky, this may be difficult. I haven't watch TV news or read a newspaper regularly in about two years. It hasn't hurt me a bit. Anything important, my mom tells me about.
34. Laugh till you cry. Laughing is one of the best ways to live. Tell jokes and laugh your head off. Watch an awesome comedy. Learn to laugh at anything. Roll on the ground laughing. You'll love it.
35. Lose control. Not only control over yourself, but control over others. It's a bad habit to try to control others -- it will only lead to stress and unhappiness for yourself and those you try to control. Let others live, and live for yourself. And lose control of yourself now and then too.
36. Cry. Men, especially, tend to hold in our tears, but crying is an amazing release. Cry at sad movies. Cry at a funeral. Cry when you are hurt, or when somebody you love is hurt. It releases these emotions and allows us to cleanse ourselves.
37. Make an awesome dessert. I like to make warm, soft chocolate cake. But even berries dipped in chocolate, or crepes with ice cream and fruit, or fresh apple pie, or homemade chocolate chip cookies or brownies, are great. This isn't an every day thing, but an occasional treat thing. But it's wonderful.
38. Try something new, every week. Ask yourself: "What new thing shall I try this week?" Then be sure to do it. You don't have to learn a new language in one week, but seek new experiences. Give it a try. You might decide you want to keep it in your life.
39. Be in the moment. Instead of thinking about things you need to do, or things that have happened to you, or worrying or planning or regretting, think about what you are doing, right now. What is around you? What smells and sounds and sights and feelings are you experiencing? Learn to do this as much as possible through meditation, but also through bringing your focus back to the present as much as you can in everything you do.

- Leo Babauta

My Life Span Values

2007-06-13T14:02:00.000-07:00

Life Span Specialist - Saeed Shahani

2007-06-13T09:40:00.000-07:00

# How to navigate life transitions!
# How to manage life more effectively.!
# How to have more balance!
# How to put things in perspective!
# To have more Joy and balance in your life!
# To no longer experience fear of uncertainty!
# To improve your ability to navigate transitions!
# To take be aware of your ability to see and grab opportunities!
# Combating techniques on aniticpating and being proactive in dealing with developmental transitions and challenges!
# To Be able to achieve more even development across all areas of life!

Be adaptable in a changing world - PAUL'S TIP

2007-06-07T12:59:00.000-07:00

When I look and listen to the people around me, I get the impression that many of them are terribly afraid of change. You can see it in the way they cling desperately to a job they hate, keep friends who are obviously bad for them, and stay in abusive relationships. You can see it in the way people continue to try the same old strategies that used to work even when things are clearly different.

But most of all, you can see it when people have change forced upon them. Think of the stunned looks on workers' faces when they're forced from their jobs by an industry downturn, the lost hopelessness of the newly-divorced, or the confusion of someone recently moved to a new city.

Even positive change can cause great anxiety. Many people, for example, are extremely reluctant to try out fun new activities.

What is it about change that frightens us all so much?

I think it's partly to do with the fact that even without change, the world is an extremely complex and confusing place. Just figuring by how to get along in a static reality would be hard enough, let alone one that keeps adjusting itself all the time.

Yet change is something we all have to deal with. It's a big part of life. No matter how hard we cling to the illusion of permanence, reality keeps intruding with its own ideas.

And it likes change. A lot.

So we're all forced to be adaptable. It's a skill that's worth learning. In fact, the best way to deal with change is to embrace it. Try to anticipate what's going to happen and look forward to the day when it arrives.

Running from change is a big problem for many people. We all know old people who refuse to adapt to the new world. They seem quaint and vulnerable when having to deal with things that young people take for granted.

But, even young people can be afraid of new things. When I was a child, my family moved around a lot. That meant I went to quite a few different schools. At the turning point, I always hated this. I felt settled where I was and didn't want to go into a strange new environment.

Yet in almost every case, I had a wonderful time when I settled into a new school. I made a whole bunch of new friends, discovered new activities and improved my social skills. All that moving around taught me to be very adaptable. This is a skill that's served me well throughout my entire life.

And it's a skill you should also try to pick up. Even to the point of forcing change on yourself sometimes. At the very least, rise up to meet the challenges it presents when it inevitably happens.

Change is a non-negotiable part of living in reality. Like surfing a giant wave, it's much easier to swim with it than try to fight it.

No matter what you do, some people won't like you

2007-05-30T14:05:00.000-07:00

Paul's Tip

When I was a teenager, I worked out that convincing people to like me was a useful skill to have. I tried all sorts of strategies and experiments for doing just that. Soon, I became a virtual expert.

Yet despite my efforts, there was always some people I'd come across who'd refuse to like me no matter what I did. This would really frustrate me and I'd put extra effort into convincing them. I figured there must be some kind of weakness in my strategy. I became obsessed with the problem they presented. How could they be so immune to my charms?

Today, I realize that no matter what you do, some people aren't going to like you. To try to charm everyone is a futile effort. Some people just aren't going to fall for you, no matter how hard you try.

This occurs for a few different reasons, but here are the main ones I've figured out.

The first, is that some people have very fixed views on what's right and what's wrong. They'll judge you on what kind of person they think you are. And often different groups have diametrically opposed views.

The other main reason you'll come across people who refuse to like you whatever you do, is that some individuals use withholding their approval as a type of power play. If they see you as somebody competent or with status, they can hate you in order to try to prove themselves better. Others simply hate many people as a way of trying to obtain control over others. I'm sure you've come across many such people in your own life.

Putting effort into charming people is an important life skill to have. But don't get too hung up on the fact that you'll come across some people who are immune to your charms. It's an inevitable part of life and something we all have to deal with.

The world is filled with opportunity

2007-05-30T13:59:00.000-07:00

Paul's Tip

A few years back, I was doing some computer contracting for one of the biggest banks in the world. One day, an email was sent around by management requesting the entire information technology department attend a meeting in the conference room. We all turned up to be told we were being made redundant. It seemed they wanted to run the Asia-Pacific IT entirely from Singapore.

Many of the people there had been working for that company for five years or more. They were devastated. They couldn't imagine there would be another opportunity like that for them. They felt that without the bank to employ them, they'd have no career.

They were wrong.

Within a month I had another job with a government department. It was better paid, more interesting, and more fun. Being made redundant by the bank was a minor glitch for me, not a major catastrophe.

I'm no different to the other people who were called to the conference room that day. I'm no smarter, better looking or more qualified. What I am, is better organized at taking advantage of career opportunities. I figured out long ago that the world is full of such opportunities, you just have to be willing to put in the hard yards in order to take advantage of them.

If you let yourself get into a position where losing one job is going to ruin your life, then you have no-one to blame but yourself when it happens. Job opportunities are everywhere, but you have to go through the initial difficulties of learning how to find them.

Okay, onto another example.

I've known a lot of people who get hung up on one potential romantic partner who's obviously not that into them. I'm sure you do too. In fact, almost all of us have been in this situation before ourselves.

How does it happen? Why do we let ourselves get into such an unsatisfactory circumstance?

I think the mental process boils down to this one simple belief: "This person has shown some interest in me. I'll never find anyone else as good as them".

Generally, I think this belief is absolute baloney. If you can pique one person's romantic interest, you can surely do it with someone else. Attracting people is a learned skill, just as career development is. If you're willing to put in the hard yards to learn the ropes, you'll figure out that you can fill your life with eligible people. It involves work, but it's not an impossible task by any means.

Getting hung up on one person who isn't willing to move forward is for suckers. Just as thinking your life is over simply because you lost a job is.

The world is filled with opportunities, but you have to learn how to take advantage of them. In almost every arena, the difference between the winners and the losers comes down to hard work and practice. Succeeding in career, business, love or friendship is generally a learned skill. Like learning to play darts, you're unlikely to be brilliant at it straight away. It takes practice and the humility to get through the early difficult days.

Be willing to do the work to fill your life with opportunity. It's well worth it, believe me.

Learn how to apologize

2007-05-30T13:50:00.000-07:00

Time and again I see problems blown out of proportion and relationships dashed because of someone having too much pride to say those two little words: "I'm sorry". I've never really understood people who refuse to apologize under any circumstances.

Is it because they're too proud or because they genuinely believe they're some kind of superhuman person who never makes mistakes? It's beyond me why they do it. But one thing I know for certain is that their pigheadedness causes them more trouble than it avoids.

Let me give you an example of how easily a problem can be solved with a simple apology. A few years back, I was living in a large residence with 40 other long-term occupants. We used to go out often having a good time together.

One day, some of the girls in the residence started acting a bit strangely towards me. They avoided talking to me and gave me mean looks. After a day or so of this, I finally found out what was going on. I'd said something to a popular girl the night before which she didn't like. I'd had a few drinks that night, and like everyone I sometimes say things that sound harsher than I mean them to.

Anyway, it seems that girl had told a bunch of her friends, and now they were all angry at me. They found a great opportunity to obsess about all the other supposed crimes I'd committed over the past year. Previously, they'd all really liked me, but suddenly they decided I was a really bad guy.

This was a difficult problem. I lived with these people and liked them all. I didn't want them to hate me because of something stupid I'd said. Perhaps they were wrong and perhaps I was wrong. It seemed irrelevant to me. All I wanted was things to be back to normal again.

So I wrote the popular girl a note saying simply: "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. I didn't mean to".

And that was it. The problem evaporated. In fact, the girls who were angry with me now liked me better than ever. They knew I'd done something courageous in admitting I was wrong and apologizing.

Of course, I could have taken another path and dug my heels in. The truth was I couldn't even remember what I'd said that was so offensive, and I was a little sceptical about the whole thing. I'm sure I'd done something wrong, but it all seemed a little blown out of proportion.

But what would I have got from that path of action? Nothing.

I defused what could have caused a big problem with me simply by knowing when to back down and apologize. I think everyone had forgotten about the whole situation within a week.

Learn how and when to apologize. Often, the pride and stubbornness you hold onto by refusing to back down isn't worth the price of a prolonged argument. An apology can do wonders for healing a difficult situation. And often, people will think better of you for it.

Focus on the opportunities of the future, not the tragedies of the past

2007-05-30T13:39:00.000-07:00

Paul's Tip

Sunday, 22 April 2007

Life isn't always easy. I'm sure I don't have to convince you of that. We all face tragedies and make mistakes. That's just part of existing on this planet.

But at the same time, we're all provided with opportunities and good times. It's a mix of the bitter and the sweet.

Part of being successful and happy in life, I believe, is to be able to move on from the tragedies of the past. And we all have them. Sure some of us get it worse than others, but you have to play with the cards life deals you. If you've been dumped by your lover, been a victim of crime, failed in business, or lost a friend, then you're just one of the multitude. We all face such challenges and sometimes worse.

It's the people who can pick themselves up, after an understandable period of mourning, and refocus themselves back on the future who are likely to find happiness. We are human, and need time to recover from setbacks, but it's a mistake to let them consume you.

I've travelled extensively and met all sorts of people in my time. The difference between those who are happy and those who aren't is often not to do with circumstances, but with attitude. The ones who can shrug off life's difficulties and work towards something better in the future are the ones who are smiling. They feel a quiet confidence, that they can still find a little goodness and light.

Others I meet can let one negative event in their lives destroy any chance of happiness. They turn the bad things that happened to them over and over in their minds until the world appears dark and brutal. Perhaps they've been through a messy divorce or lost their lucrative career. Perhaps they've had a health problem, or suffered as a victim of crime. Whatever it is, they just don't seem to be able to move on. Their entire life is viewed through the lens of the problems from the past.

You can see this also at play in certain peoples. Those is some countries can't escape from ancient crimes they feel were perpetrated against them. They live their entire lives attempting to correct what should long have been forgotten. Meanwhile, those in other countries seem to do little else but focus on the opportunities of the future. I'm sure you can find examples of each without having to think too hard.

Focus on the opportunities of the future, not the tragedies of the past when living your own life. It's not always easy, but it's the most sane way to live. And, of course, it's your best hope of happiness.

Turning Strangers Into Friends

2007-05-30T13:27:00.000-07:00

Do you find it easy to make conversation with new people you’ve just met? Or does the thought of trying to make conversation with someone new make you break out in a cold sweat?

If you don’t feel comfortable making casual conversation with new people you have just met, you will find it harder to make new friends. You will also find it more difficult to fit in at your work place.

One of the most common reasons that people have difficulty making conversation with someone they don’t know very well is because they put too much pressure on themselves.

Many people think that whenever they meet someone new, they have to say something really interesting and brilliant, right from the beginning. Even before they know the other person very well. They think they have to really put up a great performance to impress the other person.

They don’t just let themselves just be ordinary, and talk about fairly ordinary things.

Here’s a very important lesson to learn about making conversation with people: Insisting to yourself that you have to be brilliant and dazzling in all your conversations will not win you new friends. It will not even improve your conversational performance.

When you think to yourself that you have to perform perfectly in all your conversations, you will actually make your performance worse! You will become too nervous and awkward, and you’ll be too focused on your own performance. You won’t be focused on getting to know the new person you’ve just met.

New people that you meet are not looking for brilliant conversation. What they are looking for is someone who will be comfortable to be with, and fun to talk to. But most of all they are looking for someone who seems interested in them!

For conversational success, it’s more important to be a good listener than to be a great talker.

When you are just starting out talking to a person, you can use your immediate surroundings or the weather as a basis for a few starting remarks.

If you want to know that person better, move on quickly to a slightly more personal level of discussion. Ask a few basic questions and offer a little bit of information about yourself, your likes or dislikes, or your opinion on some neutral topic. Notice whether the other person lights up with interest about any topics you mention.

This can give you new interesting areas for both of you to discuss.
Even if it seems somewhat difficult and awkward for you in the beginning, develop the habit of introducing yourself to others as soon as you meet them, or very early in the conversation. Otherwise you could spend hours talking and neither of you will have any idea of what your conversation partner’s name is.

Socially confident people introduce themselves to their conversation partners very early in the course of conversation. People who are shy or socially awkward tend to introduce themselves much later, or not at all. Shy people often wait until someone asks for their name, but they rarely volunteer to give it, and they rarely ask the other person what their name is.

Sometimes it is easier to ask the other person for their name first, and then offer your own. If you practice the new behavior enough times, it will eventually become second nature to you. With enough practice, it will no longer seem intimidating to take a more active role.

The important thing is simply to develop the habit of starting simple little conversations with lots more people. Look for the interests you have in common.

If you want to be more socially successful, take the initiative to introduce yourself to new people and to get the conversational ball rolling. Don’t hold back and let other people make all the first moves. If you have been holding back, waiting for other people to do all the work in the relationship, you are shirking your responsibility in making the relationship move forward.

Show interest in other people. Smile. Listen. Look at the person you’re talking with.

Whenever you start talking to new people, don’t strive for great dialogue, or the perfect opening lines. Just get started, and keep on talking. Practice making conversations with a lot of new people. You will eventually get better at it.

Don’t decide that you’re a failure if the encounter doesn’t turn into a great friendship. After all, the truth is that the majority of conversations between new people don’t really go anywhere. That’s all right. It takes time and effort to turn casual strangers into friends.

Remember, that all of the friends you already have were strangers to you at one point in your life. Until you started talking and found out what you have in common.

Learning how to make conversation with people you don’t know well can be the first step in making many new friends.

Author’s Bio

This article is written by conversation expert Royane Real. Get her new short report titled “Your Guide to Making Friendly Conversation” If you want to improve your conversation abilities, download it now from http://www.lulu.com/real

AFFIRMATIONS

2007-05-20T11:41:00.000-07:00

I release my self from my past performance.

Learning and remembering is easy for me.

My mind works rapidly and effectively.

I affirm that I am a unique person.

I am uncovering new abilities.

I am achieving my goal.

I am supremely calm.

I am successful.

I can do it.

Einstein

2007-04-30T05:51:00.000-07:00

By WALTER ISAACSON
He was slow in learning how to talk. “My parents were so worried,” he later recalled, “that they consulted a doctor.” Even after he had begun using words, sometime after the age of 2, he developed a quirk that prompted the family maid to dub him “der Depperte,” the dopey one. Whenever he had something to say, he would try it out on himself, whispering it softly until it sounded good enough to pronounce aloud.
“Every sentence he uttered,” his worshipful younger sister recalled, “no matter how routine, he repeated to himself softly, moving his lips.” It was all very worrying, she said. “He had such difficulty with language that those around him feared he would never learn.”
His slow development was combined with a cheeky rebelliousness toward authority, which led one schoolmaster to send him packing and another to declare that he would never amount to much. These traits made Albert Einstein the patron saint of distracted schoolkids everywhere. But they also helped make him, or so he later surmised, the most creative scientific genius of modern times.
His cocky contempt for authority led him to question received wisdom in ways that well-trained acolytes in the academy never contemplated. And as for his slow verbal development, he thought that it allowed him to observe with wonder the everyday phenomena that others took for granted. Instead of puzzling over mysterious things, he puzzled over the commonplace.
“When I ask myself how it happened that I in particular discovered the relativity theory, it seemed to lie in the following circumstance,” Einstein once explained. “The ordinary adult never bothers his head about the problems of space and time. These are things he has thought of as a child. But I developed so slowly that I began to wonder about space and time only when I was already grown up.
Consequently, I probed more deeply into the problem than an ordinary child would have.”

It may seem logical, in retrospect, that a combination of awe and rebellion made Einstein exceptional as a scientist.
But what is less well known is that those two traits also combined to shape his spiritual journey and determine the nature of his faith.
The rebellion part comes in at the beginning of his life: he rejected at first his parents’ secularism and later the concepts of religious ritual and of a personal God who intercedes in the daily workings of the world.
But the awe part comes in his 50s when he settled into a deism based on what he called the
“spirit manifest in the laws of the universe” and a sincere belief in a “God who reveals Himself in the harmony of all that exists.”
Einstein was descended, on both parents’ sides, from Jewish tradesmen and peddlers who had, for at least two centuries, made modest livings in the rural villages of Swabia in southwestern Germany.
With each generation they had become increasingly assimilated into the German culture they loved–or so they thought. Although Jewish by cultural designation and kindred instinct, they had little interest in the religion itself.
In his later years, Einstein would tell an old joke about an agnostic uncle who was the only member of his family who went to synagogue. When asked why he did so, the uncle would respond, “Ah, but you never know.” Einstein’s parents, on the other hand, were “entirely irreligious.” They did not keep kosher or attend synagogue, and his father Hermann referred to Jewish rituals as “ancient superstitions,” according to a relative.
Consequently, when Albert turned 6 and had to go to school, his parents did not care that there was no Jewish one near their home. Instead he went to the large Catholic school in their neighborhood. As the only Jew among the 70 students in his class, he took the standard course in Catholic religion and ended up enjoying it immensely.
Despite his parents’ secularism, or perhaps because of it, Einstein rather suddenly developed a passionate zeal for Judaism. “He was so fervent in his feelings that, on his own, he observed Jewish religious strictures in every detail,” his sister recalled. He ate no pork, kept kosher and obeyed the strictures of the Sabbath. He even composed his own hymns, which he sang to himself as he walked home from school.
Einstein’s greatest intellectual stimulation came from a poor student who dined with his family once a week.
It was an old Jewish custom to take in a needy religious scholar to share the Sabbath meal; the Einsteins modified the tradition by hosting instead a medical student on Thursdays.
His name was Max Talmud, and he began his weekly visits when he was 21 and Einstein was 10.
Talmud brought Einstein science books, including a popular illustrated series called People’s Books on Natural Science, “a work which I read with breathless attention,” said Einstein. The 21 volumes were written by Aaron Bernstein, who stressed the interrelations between biology and physics, and reported in great detail the experiments being done at the time, especially in Germany.
Talmud also helped Einstein explore the wonders of mathematics by giving him a textbook on geometry two years before he was scheduled to learn that subject in school. When Talmud arrived each Thursday, Einstein delighted in showing him the problems he had solved that week.
Initially, Talmud was able to help him, but he was soon surpassed by his pupil. “After a short time, a few months, he had worked through the whole book,” Talmud recalled. “Soon the flight of his mathematical genius was so high that I could no longer follow.”
Einstein’s exposure to science and math produced a sudden transformation at age 12, just as he would have been readying for a bar mitzvah. He suddenly gave up Judaism.
That decision does not appear to have been drawn from Bernstein’s books because the author made clear he saw no contradiction between science and religion. As he put it,
”The religious inclination lies in the dim consciousness that dwells in humans that all nature, including the humans in it, is in no way an accidental game, but a work of lawfulness that there is a fundamental cause of all existence.”
Einstein would later come close to these sentiments. But at the time, his leap away from faith was a radical one.
“Through the reading of popular scientific books, I soon reached the conviction that much in the stories of the Bible could not be true. The consequence was a positively fanatic orgy of free thinking coupled with the impression that youth is intentionally being deceived by the state through lies; it was a crushing impression.”
Einstein did, however, retain from his childhood religious phase a profound faith in, and reverence for, the harmony and beauty of what he called the mind of God as it was expressed in the creation of the universe and its laws.
The Dichotomy between Science and Religion

Around the time he turned 50, he began to articulate more clearly–in various essays, interviews and letters–his deepening appreciation of his belief in God, although a rather impersonal version of one.
One particular evening in 1929, the year he turned 50, captures Einstein’s middle-age deistic faith. He and his wife were at a dinner party in Berlin when a guest expressed a belief in astrology. Einstein ridiculed the notion as pure superstition. Another guest stepped in and similarly disparaged religion. Belief in God, he insisted, was likewise a superstition.
At this point the host tried to silence him by invoking the fact that even Einstein harbored religious beliefs. “It isn’t possible!” the skeptical guest said, turning to Einstein to ask if he was, in fact, religious. “Yes, you can call it that,” Einstein replied calmly.
“Try and penetrate with our limited means the secrets of nature and you will find that, behind all the discernible laws and connections, there remains something subtle, intangible and inexplicable. Veneration for this force beyond anything that we can comprehend is my religion. To that extent I am, in fact, religious.”
Shortly after his 50th birthday, Einstein also gave a remarkable interview in which he was more revealing than he had ever been about his religious sensibility. It was with George Sylvester Viereck, who had been born in Germany, moved to America as a child and then spent his life writing gaudily erotic poetry, interviewing great men and expressing his complex love for his fatherland.
Einstein assumed Viereck was Jewish. In fact, Viereck proudly traced his lineage to the family of the Kaiser, and he would later become a Nazi sympathizer who was jailed in America during World War II for being a German propagandist.
Viereck began by asking Einstein whether he considered himself a German or a Jew.
“It’s possible to be both,” replied Einstein. “Nationalism is an infantile disease, the measles of mankind.”

What is Hypnosis - First Institute of Dynamic Learning

2007-03-22T13:35:00.000-07:00

Hypnosis, as is used in a modern clinical setting, is thought of as a method to bring about a "process" in people where they are able to use their own mental associations, past life experiences, and potentials to achieve their set goals or deal with their current problems. It is believed that the method creates an ideal type of setting in the person's mind and that solutions start to emerge from it, new understandings are brought about and new ways of behaving are carefully imprinted into the mind.

The methods used are numerous and the conditions for using them are based on what the outcome is to be, who the person is, and what other special conditions are there at that time. This modern definition was arrived at because of the use of hypnosis in a clinical setting, which is its most popular use nowadays. Other methods include using hypnosis in stage performances to perform magic feats for instance. Examples of this would be the modern hypnotist Deren Brown or the famous historical character, Rasputin. These other methods are not so much considered respectable uses of hypnosis or even credible ones anymore.

Much has been done in the context of this past century to get rid of the conception that hypnosis is something used to have people manipulated into doing or believing things that defy logical conceptions or even socially acceptable ethical standards. Such "theorizing" was necessary because it tended to be conflicting with the newly developing influence of hypnosis into types of therapy. Also, most of these applications were proved to be fraudulent while others could be explained in terms of normal phenomena instead of its magical portrayal.

The only characteristic of hypnosis that borders the logical but is still very much accepted is the concept of spontaneous healing. Spontaneous healing meaning miraculous healing such as the one brought about by religious practices. It is believed that the scope of hypnosis accommodates this phenomenon quite well and that in essence many of its applications are fundamentally based on it. Examples of this could be curing a person of paralysis, curing people almost immediately of severe mental illnesses were catatonic states are not uncommon, or curing people of seemingly irresolvable neurological problems.

Hypnosis Definition: Part II of III It was the case in this past century that forms of therapy were what they called non-strategic or non participative. In other words, therapists would consult patients by letting them make their own mental associations by basically having them talk about their lives. Only then would a therapist intervene and even then, the contribution was minimal. It was considered, during the first half of the past century, that helping them by suggesting solutions or wanting to focus on certain parts of their histories to bring about change was in a sense going against the ideal route. During the second half of the century therapies started to shift from the passive to the active forms. Now, even though many therapies were already theorizing on concepts derived from hypnosis, its influence was still minimal and not very direct.

There were the conditioning therapies, whose basic premises derived from Pavlov, whose knowledge included hypnotic theory. There was behavior therapy in the form of reciprocal inhibition, which originated from Joseph Wolpe and his experience as a hypnotist. There was also dynamic psychotherapy, especially psychoanalysis, which arose during a period of great hypnotic experimentation two centuries ago. But as it became evident that these therapies' techniques were ignoring a large part of the great body of knowledge brought about a century before, changes began to be made and therapy in essence became more strategic based. This of course, opened the way for hypnosis to be practiced in this field since it is in essence a very good model of what a strategic therapy should be.

A hypnotist identifies the solvable problems in a person, he sets outcome goals, and designs a strategy to correct them. He might then restrategize his work to help in perfecting the overall plan and lastly he is to measure and determine the success of his work. Similarly, this is what strategic therapy is all about. Hypnosis Definition: Part III of III What sets hypnosis apart from the other therapies out there is that it is carried out by first placing the patient in what is reffered to as a hypnotic trance. The idea of this trance is to reach an ideal condition where the hypnotist is able to speak to the person's unconscious mind. It is believed that what hypnosis considers the unconscious mind is a state of consciousness that is more readily able to accept commands and arrive at problem solving.

The unconscious has also proved to be a very apt state of mind for creative visualization, a very important aspect of the process. At the same time, a hypnotic trance is categorized into many levels. A hypnotist will choose which level is necessary for the kind of work to be done. Usually, something like inducing hypnotic anesthesia will require a very deep trance while something like a persuasion technique will require that the person be in a light trance. As was discussed at the beginning, the hypnotic trance ideally is to create a new phenomenal world in which patients can explore their own skills which were not readily available to them before. During said trance, these limitations, which are the person's frames of reference are altered in such a way that he may make new mental associations and learn new skills or behaviors.

The tools used by a hypnotist can be broken down into basic tools such as: therapeutic stories that employ metaphor, language patterns that communicate to the unconscious commands to shift its perspective or to activate or be ready to expect new learnings, and finally other nonverbal skills that help in the persuasiveness of the hypnotists commands and stories. A detailed look at such repertoire of tools is a lengthy undertaking and as such will be done in separate studies of the hypnotic process.

Self Hypnosis by First Institute of Dynamic Learning

2007-03-22T13:28:00.000-07:00

Self Hypnosis: Tips for Trance Work If you are practicing self hypnosis this is one of the best tips because it really conforms to the concept of autonomous processing. Autonomous processing in this respect simply means that you are the one guiding yourself into trance, so hence I will provide you with a way for you to carry it out successfully. Questions of deeper or lighter, or right or wrong should be answered.

In the past this problem has been dealt with in different ways and in a big number of cases. Now, since self hypnosis is a relatively different way of carrying out hypnosis as it has been researched throughout history, we will do a good job of discerning the skills of mind that should be applied autonomously. Please note that hypnosis has evolved in such a way that the level of trance is not indicative of the success of a therapy. Such an idea seems logical and was pushed forth in the old days when hypnosis was not so much used for other things than stage illusions. But nonetheless, there are ways that you can make yourself go deeper.

Trance has the benefit that it creates a condition of mind where the person is receptive to hypnotic suggestions and can easily overlook aspects that would generally pose mental blocks to these. But a hypnotist can carry out a session and just talk to a person for two hours and not even ask him to close his eyes. In the process of the conversation he will use communication processes that will have the same effect of bringing about change, the difference is that they conform better to the situation and the person. Ok, lets go to the tip. Please try it.

When you are carrying out your trancework you are generally speaking to your subconscious, giving it certain commands, whether it be that youre doing this by yourself or hearing a tape or hearing a professional. And to do this you would wish that your trance is perfect (deep and powerful). This is all very well and good but you are overlooking the fact that a trance is only as good as the combination of these factors. What I would suggest is that since it is obvious that you are starting out and you wish to achieve a certain state, that you don't rush into it. In other words, do not let your subconscious be overly cooperative, if you do so you will just be setting yourself up for hitting a wall. Why, because your subconscious does not have the adequate learnings of what and when going deeper is necessary for.

So, you find yourself saying to yourself "oh, so now I must go deeper, quick quick, pull out the trance highway, start to breathe, remember remember going deeper." Don't do so. Stop for a second and say to yourself, "If I go deeper now, wouldn't I be missing out on something?" Because how do you know when it is time to go deeper, you might have an idea but you don't have the ways to put yourself deeper in the way that you would like to. Your mind will learn as you go along, it will understand the ways in which it processes the information that you are choosing to give it, as long as you do not push it in directions where you are getting undesired results. OK? Very important, make up your own question so you can tell your subconscious to stop for a second and trust the level where you are at that moment so that it can continue the path of the script.

If I try to go deeper right now, won't I lose the information I was already gathering about this situation, maybe I don't want to veer off... Very important. Make sure you always start out by knowing exactly what it is that you will be doing in trance and have this little warning in your mind. It will help you develop the kind of brain activity that is conducive to trance. In other words, you will be redesigning parts of your mind so that the hypnotic state, or the trance, comes more naturally in the future and at that moment in time as well.

Remember, try this so you can go deeper eventually, so that your mind will know and be able to reproduce at your will the deeper states. It is certainly possible. But you need the brain activity first to begin to develop itself. Let it develop. Being more receptive in this way makes you aware in an ideal way of the benefits of whatever hypnotic technique you will be practicing at that time. And second, you will be conducing your mind gradually to more powerful hypnotic trancework. And deep trancework helps in incredible ways, but instead of trying to hit the wall with every kind of mental weapon you might have conjured at the time, just disregard doing so because it just wont work. Other techniques are readily available should be covered in other essays, pick and discern the best ones for your techniques.

Reiki Healing

2007-03-08T23:28:00.000-08:00

Reiki (pronounced Ray-Key) is a method of natural healing based on the application of Universal Life Force Energy (the name literally means Universal Life Force Energy). These pages are a collection of information about Reiki and are presented with the purpose of spreading knowledge of what Reiki is.
Reiki is one of the more widely known forms of energy healing. Energy Healing involves direct application of Chi for the purpose of strengthening the clients energy system (aura). Chi is the term used by the Chinese mystics and martial artists for the underlying force the Universe is made of. Mystics in all cultures have talked about the physical universe being made of an underlying form of something, much as modern physics research is now coming to understand the Universe is made of energy which is subject to (or affected by) thought. Just as modern physics says this energy is affected by thought the mystics also say this underlying form is affected by thought, going so far as to claim we create our own reality from our thinking and the thoughts we share between each of us every day.

Stop and reflect for a moment. Imagine the implications of the universe around us made from energy which can be shaped and manipulated by thoughts. This is the implication of both Quantum Physics and ancient Metaphysics. Might this make some diseases easier to explain, especially those which have no apparent physical cause? Might this make miraculous cures easier to explain? For example there was research study done a couple years ago showing that prayer improves the health of those who are prayed for, the focus of intent in prayer sends thoughts out in the form of "I wish such-and-so to happen", so if the world is energy subject to the power of thought then prayers must work (depending on how clearly and carefully you hold and elaborate on the prayers or thoughts). Remember this while reading here about Reiki. Reiki is very easily learned, very simple to use, and beneficial for all. It is one of many forms of healing through the use of the natural forces which were given the name Chi by ancient chinese mystics. Some forms of healing using Chi energy forces are Chi Gong, Pranic Healing, Chelation (as taught by Brabara Brennan and Rosalyn Bruyere), and Polarity Balancing. All (apparently) use the same energies, with the difference being techniques of application and an energy quality commonly known as vibration. (This term vibration is widely used in the "New Age" community to refer to the range in experience between the dense or low vibration of the physical world to the high vibration of the highest spiritual expression; while the term is inadequate to truly describe the differences, and while Reality is probably not a simple bipolar scale of experience, the term is descriptive of how the energy feels). I'm reluctant to definitively say Reiki uses Chi because I am not an expert on what the Chinese mean by this word. To my eye the force referred to with the name Chi is the same as Prana, Orgone, Odic, they are all names for the same force.

Since the word Reiki means Universal Life Force Energy, it (strictly speaking) refers to the energy and not the specific techniques taught by Reiki Masters. The techniques are more properly called the Usui System of Natural Healing after the founder of the system, Dr. Mikao Usui. However as Reiki is the common name, and a fine name at that, this is the name we will use here.

A Reiki healing is very simply performed. The practitioner places his or her hands upon the person to be healed with the intent for healing to occur, and then the energy begins flowing. The Reiki energy is smart since the Universe is a very smart place indeed. The energy knows where to go, and what to do once it gets there, or else is being directed by a higher intelligence. The energy manages its own flow to and within the recipient. It draws through the healer exactly that amount of energy which the recipient needs. All this happens without direct conscious intervention by the healer. The healers job is to get out of the way, to keep the healing space open, and to watch/listen for signs of what to do next.

Just for today, do not worry.
Just for today, do not anger.

Honor your parents, teachers, and elders.

Earn your living honestly.

Show gratitude to everything

Dr. Mikao Usui